Sunday, November 30, 2008


I am not sure why I am being lead to write about forgiveness but I always do what God wants me to do and so here it goes:
I am not a perfect person by no means, I fail God each and everyday and one of my biggest human faults is forgiveness. I am not one that likes to hold a grudge but it does happen, and when it does it makes my heart hurt. I don't care who you are or what your situation is at one point or another in your life you are going to be faced with having to forgive someone for something that they have done to you that has really hurt you. And trust me it is one of the hardest things that you have to do. Why? you may ask, well because the human side of us lives in a world that is wicked and a place where hate seems to rule over love in so many cases.
But we have Jesus on our side and so even though it may not be the easiest thing to do we can still bare it because He helps us.
Let me give you an example from one of my personal experiences. I recently left a church that I was raised, married and had raised my kids the first part of their lives in. There were some problems in the church and when I brought those problems up to the proper people I got my feelings hurt. Now mind you I probably could have done it in a different way or better way, but I didn't and I know that it had to hurt the people that I brought it to's feelings. But the reaction I got from these people shocked me, it was much different then what I had imagined it would be, rather than them being understanding they bit my head off. I ended up leaving the church and to this day I am still shunned by some of the members there. Now I got bitter over this, and I know that having the feelings of anger that I had for these people was wrong, but I thought that it was justified LOL well I was wrong.
God started dealing with my heart and showing me that the feelings that I was having were not Christian. I know that I had to have hurt these people by bringing up their faults but I felt that I was doing the right thing, I guess they felt that their reaction was the right thing, I think if we were all honest about it, then we would all have to say that we were wrong and very unchristian like, and I include myself in a big way there.
I stopped and thought about how Jesus must been treated, He was perfect no faults what so ever but human people saw Him differently, they made up faults about Him and treated Him so badly. But rather than Him getting angry He forgave, and forgave and forgave some more, I stopped and thought about that and it amazed me, how wrong I was to have the feelings of anger that I had for these people. I prayed, oh how I prayed and I begged God to give me forgiveness in my heart, because I knew as long as I had this bitter anger in my heart then I could never truly serve Him in a way that He wants me to.
Now mind you this is not something that happened over night it took allot of time for me to come to terms and deal with my anger. But PRAISE GOD it did finally happen, God helped me to be able to forgive them. OH WHAT A WONDERFUL GOD WE SERVE!!! Now I am not going to lie to you, there are still days when I see some of the people that hurt me so badly and my mind wants so much to say something bad about them, or it wants me to get angry again, but my heart steps in and says no, you are a child of God, a representative of Christ and He would not react like this, and after I pray about it, God gives me back that peace in my heart.
Now I am not saying that your situation will turn out the way mine did, only God knows that but I will say that until you give it all to God and ask Him to help you deal with it, then you will not be able to get rid of it on your own. I fall on my knees daily and ask God to get me through all the trials in my life and He has never let me down. I praise Him when I am happy, I praise Him when I am sad, and I praise Him when I am angry, and you know when I forget myself and focus on His love for me, it makes all the bad things go away.

Alittle About Me

Since this is my first blog I guess it would be good to tell you alittle about me and my family.

My husband and I took our wedding vows on October 30, 1993 what a wonderful day that is was, a day that I will never forget because I was finally able to marry this man that I loved so much and we were going to be a family. I was 3 months pregnant with my son when we got married and I was so excited, I thought now I am married and in a few months I am going to have this beautiful baby and then I can start being the homemaker and mother that I had dreamed of being. My husband worked in the coal mines here in West Virginia and he made really good money so we thought that we were right on track and that there was nothing going to stop us from being this perfect family, well little did we know God had different plans in mind for us and it was going to be a very rough road that we were going to have to travel....

Well all I can say is that our honeymoon was very short lived, 3 weeks after we were married my husband was laid off of the mines and so there we were no job and a baby on the way, we had just moved into our apartment our wonderful, beautiful apartment that I had worked so hard to make the way I liked it and now there was no money coming in and bills and rent were do, so we had to make a very hard decision which was to leave my little apartment that we loved so much and move in with my parents while my husband looked for another job and we got back up on our feet.

Well I can't speak for anyone else that has ever had to live with their parent's after marriage but I can tell you for me and my husband it was not easy, and I am sure my parent's felt the same way, even though they tried so hard to make the best of the situation. Well my husband found work in construction and so we thought ok here we go, God has provided us a job, now all we have to do is save up enough money to get us another place to live and get our finances straightened back up and we were sure we would be back in our own home before the baby was due, well no that is not what happened.

On Feb. 22, 1994 I went into premature labor 3 months early and was rushed to the hospital. They were able to stop the contractions for 3 days, but on the 25th my beautiful tiny son Andy was born weighing 2 lbs and 2 oz and he was 14 1/2 inches long. I won't go into details of his hospital stay because it consisted of 14 months in the hospital with many many ups and downs before he was well enough to come home to us. He developed Cerebral Palsy and became deaf due to his prolonged illness but he is such a wonderful blessing to us and we are greatful everyday that God gave him to us.

As I am sure that you have probably figured out with Andy being in the hospital so long we did not have the time to look for a place of our own and with the expense of staying at the hosptial that long it always seemed to eat up any extra money that my husband made. SO after Andy came home we were back in the same situation as we were before, having to live with my mom and dad.

Well me being firm in the belief of not using birth control It was no sooner than we got home and things calmed down that I got pregnant with my soon to be daughter. (Might I add by this point my husband is so stressed that he starts to loose his hair LOL) We were determined however to be in our own home before she was born, and with the help of my loving parents we were able to move into our new single wide trailer 3 weeks before she was born. On Feb. 17, 1996 Olivia came into the world a healthy and on time 6 lbs. and 11 oz. and was 21 1/2 inches long, with beautiful red hair.

Well to wrap this up let just say that it has not been easy, we still have faced so many challanges in our family, and even though things turned out very differently in real life my dream is still the same, I long to be the best Christian homemaker, wife and mother that I can be, and that is what this blog site is going to be about. I will share my experiences, trails, failures, and my victories with you, along with anything that I think my help you if your desire is to also be a Christian Homemaker.